sansaofhousestark: arianne—martell: Every time I think of the black market, I actually imagine a market, with little stalls selling illegal things like nuclear weapons and organs.
luckyspike: like ok hannibal is always making really nice meals and eating really fancy food does he ever just go home after work and like stare at his freezer full of body parts and just “you know i don’t really feel like human tonight. im gonna have a hot pocket.”
manafromheaven: vriskamindfangserket: PS IF I MEET YOU AT A CON AND WE REALLY HIT IT OFF AND HANG OUT A LOT AND THEN I SEE YOU AT ANOTHER CON PLEASE DON’T BE OFFENDED IF I DON’T REMEMBER YOU RIGHT AWAY I’M REALLY BAD AT FACES AND FOR SOME REASON EVERYONE LOOKS THE SAME TO ME SO IF YOU COULD POSSIBLY BE LIKE “YO I WAS COSPLAYING SO AND SO AND WE HUNG OUT” LIKE THAT’D BE GRAND omfg THIS I LOVE...
jimmyjamjimjohn: rubywhiterabbit: One day we’ll be in a Marvel movie, sitting there as something doesn’t feel right. and as the credits start to roll we’ll know what it is. It will flash up on screen and our hearts will break. “In loving memory of Stan Lee”. There was no cameo in that movie. And there never will be again.
suburbanxemo: menstruate: red white and blue are the colors of freedom until they’re flashing in your rearview mirror i choked
trishhyy: when a girl changes her clothes in front of you, she’s either really interested or you’re level 99 friend-zoned
themongooseandthesnake: “yeah im a lesbian trapped inside a man’s body” the cishet male laughs as he highfives one of his dudebros. suddenly he gives off a look of pure terror and a piercing shriek as his skin is ripped apart, much to the horror of his crew. his skin falls to the floor and a woman is left standing where he once was. “FINALLY” she roars, kicking one of the dudebros in the dick...
toomanyforgottendreams: kerilu: mtnduh: Coca-Cola’s long experimented with its vending machines, trying to make them more technologically advanced than the average soda-spitter-outer. In the past, they’ve been known to give you a beverage only if you give them a hug, or if you dance or sing in front of them. Now, the beverage giant is attempting a much loftier goal: world peace. Behind...
fefeferi: when youre in a fandom that is known for being fucking annoying and youre ashamed of it but you still like the thing
streetlightangel: i started watching teen wolf where’s the sterek i was promised sterek also who the fuck is scott cause i’ve never seen anyone talk about this motherfucker before
kankrivantas: Everyone Is At A Convention This Weekend Except For Me: An Autobiography
mytoecold: A guy I don’t know very well handed me his yearbook and asked me if I wanted to sign it. I said yes, and shortly after he added, “Just don’t write anything gay.” I wrote this: Fuck my actual butthole. You are a boy and so am I. We are going to have sex that is gay. Pound my rock hard cock and bite me. Love, Drew
Anonymous asked: Hi there!! You're pretty I'm a creep okay bye
thegayloki: you know what should be a thing? like, marriage, except it’s for friends and you have this big ceremony thing where all your friends and family are there and you say that you wanna be best bros for life and shit and on the night of the ceremony you dont have sex but you get a hotel room and eat pizza and play video games or have a marathon of your favourite tv show and then you go...
We should just lie here: romanorgasm: Shion looked... →
romanorgasm: Shion looked at his feet. He tightened his grip around Nezumi’s arm. I know. I understand. But― “Nezumi, the world means nothing to me without you. Nothing.” A finger hooked on his chin, and yanked it upwards. A set of dark grey eyes were right in front of him. “Won’t…
jerkenglish: when people send me dumb asks out of no where
playbunny: growing attached to people but not wanting to be that clingy friend
annaharvelle: dont worry under-appreciated character im coming to defend you
himchanspenus: Here’s a serious advice. Even the nicest people have their limits. Don’t try to reach that point because the nicest people are also the scariest assholes when they’ve had enough.
dampsandwich: vagisodium: dampsandwich: im not 21 please dont say the A word around me. anchovies great im going to be grounded now i hope your happy
guardiankarenterrier: zilleniose: scoutacris: what if danny phantom actually died in the accident and is actually a ghost with the power of turning alive WHY WOULD YOU EVEN SAY THAT I think I actually had part of that written at one point